sketching in season

 

I did end up completing my sketch-a-day for the month of August, and really enjoyed it so much I'm trying to do it again for September. More than anything I savoured the daily pause where I could allow myself to just create something with my hands - where I could put off those perfectionist and procrastinating woes - and delight in what emerges; still life, memories, stream-of-consciousness, storyboarding...  

Since becoming a mother I have struggled at times with a sense of what I can only describe as inspired-incapaciation - that is - feeling often inspired with an idea I impatiently want to release in some creative fashion and not being able to do it because of the constant hum-drum-busyness and demands of the day (and sometimes) night too. And instead of making good use of "free" time when it emerges I feel so overwhelmed with the need for my illustrations or words or art or what-have-you to be profound and beautiful and exactly how I would like it be... that I would end up doing nothing at all, and then feeling sorry for myself afterwards. repeat. It was a silly, hurtful cycle.

So Alex and I decided we would both do this sketch a day thing as a way of trying to remedy some of those feelings and really just get ourselves moving again. Truly, it has been so releasing and meditative. For those twenty minutes or so, I work quickly, I experiment, I let-go...

And steadily, day by day, I am learning afresh of how to be creative in this season of life. One where ideas, patterns and narratives mull and ferment longer than they ever have before. One where the urgency to produce something is replaced with a mindful tending, drafting and unfolding.  And suddenly that need for beauty or profundity quiets down, and I'm left with a desire to listen, imagine and when time permits, explore.